It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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