hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If I had your ass I would rule the world
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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