and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
