Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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