Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
