it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
