watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
