U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
