Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
