Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
