We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
