just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
