This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
