I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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