Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
