i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
