Can Purell be used as lube?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
