Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
