Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
