laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
