Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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