Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
