dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
