WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
