We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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