i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
