So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
