Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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