this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
