I understand Curling. That high.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
