Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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