Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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