well I can't set my house on fire every night
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
