last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
