i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
