We're like a lot better than the average bears
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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