If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
