whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
