I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
