dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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