We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
