So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
