i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
