So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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