yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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