Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
