I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
