Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
