yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
