You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
